_As young teens, my brother and I went to see a lot of movies, especially during the summer. Remembering the way we would go to the movie theater to go watch a movie on a weekly basis during Summer Vacation is a really easy way to answer the question of “Why do studios insist on cramming the summer with movies?” Because movies are a really easy thing to go do when you’re a young teen and feel like there’s a bunch of stuff you can’t do because you’re underage. Though they used to be cheaper, too…eh. Anyways, there was one summer in particular that I remember very well: 1997. I can look at the movies released that summer and remember going opening weekend to see a bunch. In 6 consecutive weeks, we saw at least 5 new releases: The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Con Air, Speed 2: Cruise Control (lol), Batman and Robin (lol), Face/Off, and Men in Black. We saw a bunch of other movies, but that was a month and a half stretch of seeing movies that, quality-wise, were all over the place, but both of us were super excited to go see. As you might imagine…there was some disappointment that summer =P It was still fun though! If you go back to the beginning of May, there was the first Austin Powers (random note: A big reason we saw it was because my uncle played a stand-in for Burt Bacharach in a scene and my dad and him wanted to see if they could see him in the final cut. You can lol) and The Fifth Element.
_Day 11 [A movie you walked out on in theatres] – Drop Dead Fred
I’m stubborn. There are movies I’ve seen in the theatres that probably deserved to be walked out on, but I stayed through to the end just…because. X3. Twilight. Speed 2. And with how expensive movie tickets are now, if I pay $12 to go see a movie, I’m staying to the fucking end. At least I’ll have a full opinion of the trash for my money. However, I went to see this movie as a kid with my brother and father. Halfway through the movie, my dad grabbed us and said “We’re not watching this.” And we then walked out. I remember nothing else about this movie except that we left during it. I’m gonna go check a synopsis of it or something.
Oh, Phoebe Cates was in it? I loved her in Gremlins and in the pool scene from Fast Times!
_Day 12 [Your favorite male performance] – Kurtwood Smith as Clarence Boddicker (Robocop)
lol “male performance.” Moving on…I love Paul Verhoeven. Total Recall? Robocop? Starship Troopers? Fuck yeah.
Verhoeven films are always cast well. Nobody ever feels out of place. Even the horrible people. But Kurtwood Smith as the villain in Robocop was just a stroke of genius. It’s hard to believe that Kurtwood Smith could possibly be a nice guy in real life after seeing this movie. If there was a documentary about a day in his life, I would fully expect it to be identical to his exploits in Robocop.
_Day 13 [Your favorite female performance] – Gong Li as Hatsumomo (Memoirs of a Geisha)
This was a…hard choice to make, especially not being able to list a movie twice. Upon reflecting on the answer to this question, I realized that my taste in films tend to gravitate towards dong. Not literally, but…well, I did see Watchmen…anyways, you get what I mean. Maybe Hollywood is right. Maybe I unconsciously lean towards male vehicles. I should make a conscious effort to not be such a male chauvinist.
Memoirs of a Geisha was a random book I picked up at Barnes and Noble one day and started reading. I really don’t do that often. I’m usually pretty tentative when it comes to starting a book. Like…there’s so much of the written word out there, I like having hearing at least some kind of good word on something from someone I know before getting into it, but…I just kind of went “Fuck it” this time. Good thing, though, I loved the book. Not to sound like a soundbite, but it really did bring me into a totally different world.
Turns out that the book was kind of popular. I probably picked it up off a “Hot paperbacks” stand or something, cause they made it into a movie. The movie is alright, though it often tries to cram too much stuff from the book in it. It often suffers from simply moving too fast. But if there’s any part of the film that’s as good as the book, it’s Gong Li’s portrayal of Hatsumomo. She’s generally a conniving, unlikable bitch in the book and it’s translated perfectly to the screen by Li. All of her dialog directed towards Sayuri in the company of others is delivered in a playful geisha way but simultaneously with an outrageous amount of bile. The way she portrays her is so good that while it wasn’t the way I envisioned Hatsumomo when I read the book, after seeing the movie I had to go “Yeah, she was right, I was wrong, that’s it.”
I picked two bad guys for my favorite performances. Maybe I should like like nicer people.
_Day 14 [A movie that made you cry] – Up
If the famous 4 minute married life montage didn’t make you cry, you are simply defective as a life-form. Pre-emotions chip Data would have cried during that scene. But even more than that, this movie chokes me up from nearly beginning to end. Carl personifying his dead wife’s through is floating house is simply gut-wrenching. It’s like having a fist lodged in your throat that unclenches to form a palm every time he calls his house Ellie.
The montage is what everyone points out as being sad, but the entire movie is an emotional roller coaster.
…so here’s the montage!
_Day 15 [Biggest movie character crush] – Jennifer Connelly (Labyrinth)
Did I say Jennifer Connelly? I obviously meant David Bowie.
I was a wee lad when I saw Labyrinth for the first time, and Jennifer Connelly was a much-older-than-me teenager starring in that movie. So naturally, I developed a little boy crush on her really bad. It was one of those prepubescent things where even though I didn’t really like girls yet, I could still tell “Wow, Jareth’s cod piece is so hu-” …I mean… “Wow, she’s so pretty, omigosh!” Funnily enough, when she grew up, she still looked eerily similar, but just no longer a young teenager. Though it wasn’t quite like she was 10 in that movie, she was already in her teens. I think she was already in the latter half of her teen years, so she didn’t have that much more growing up to do. This is coming off creepier sounding than I intended. I should change my wording to fix that, but I think this does properly fit my feelings regarding the matter.
Let’s also mention that I’ve always thought that Robin Scherbatsky (Cobie Smulders) has always been by far the hottest woman on “How I Met Your Mother.” Like, it’s not even close. Even when hot guest stars show up to portray objects of male affection, I can never buy into it because regular-cast-member Cobie just stands around blowing everybody out of the water with hotness. Like, everybody around Robin just pales in comparison, all of the people that see her on a regular basis should be completely jaded and not find attractive people attractive anymore.
Why do I bring this up? Because she bears a rather striking resemblance to Jennifer Connelly. Seriously, look it up. Maybe I should stop? Yeah, let’s stop it right there.