_Tomorrow never comes until it’s too late…six days. On on this, the 6th, I watched Xanadu. It has Olivia Newton-John and Gene Kelly. It’s a musical and is random as piss.
_It amazes me, the movies that get made sometimes. I could say “Xanadu is a musical about a down on his luck aspiring artist who ends up falling in love and ends up making a roller disco” and you would likely respond “Sounds a little dated with the roller disco, but I can see an appeal to it.” Well, let’s dig a bit deeper then…
_The movie starts out with Sonny Malone drawing pictures at his home. They’re good, but he just isn’t “feeling it” and he throws his sketches out the window! The sketches fly through the city where they fall at a giant mural painted on a wall of 9 women. Suddenly a musical number starts, and the women come to life with a purple neon glow around them Olivia Newton-John being one of them. They dance around for a couple minutes, then Sonny is seen in the park, and Olivia skates up to him, kisses him, then skates off.
This kind of thing happens a lot. Random musical numbers for little discernible reason. Granted, that’s often a staple of musicals. I mean, Ariel didn’t need to sing about her thingamajigs. Annie could’ve just told us about how hard her life was. They both could’ve easily conveyed their message via spoken word, they just chose song. Xanadu, however, is more often…”Here’s a musical number. Deal with it.” It often straddles the line between reality and fantasy, but in a horrible way. Take, for instance, when Sonny first speaks to Kira (Newton-John’s character). He finds he skating around an abandoned building, disappearing and reappearing into and from thin air. He is not phased by this. However, when she calls him Sonny before he tells her his name…”Hey, how do you know my name?” Really? Her ethereal abilities were just “Whatever” but knowing your name, THAT’S crazy?
…anyways, it turns out Kira is a muse. A literal muse. Daughter of Zeus and stuff. That mural? That was a mural of the 9 muses. On the wall of some alley. What the shit.
_The whole movie seems like a kind of fantasy idea that easily could’ve been lighthearted and enjoyable if handled slightly differently. It’s really the base in reality that tanks the movie. Everything should’ve just been a “Just go with it” kind of affair, like with the memory erasing in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. The movie never brought up the fact that the concept is unbelievable as fuck. It wasn’t important. Xanadu with no basis in reality would’ve probably been pretty fun. As it is, it’s just silly.
_Tomorrow, go west, young man. BEVERLY HILLS COP. See you~