Netflix February_day.17 – LONE WOLF McQUADE (1983)

_Netflix February is only 17, but let me tell ya…she’s old enough for me. Today’s movie is Lone Wolf McQuade, the story of a Texas Ranger played by Chuck Norris who plays by his own set of rules. Stuff happens and he fights David Carradine and gets support from Commander Chakotay from Star Trek: Voyager.

_No joke, this is probably the best Chuck Norris movie I’ve seen. I haven’t seen many mind you, but it’s quite a step up from Sidekicks or Invasion U.S.A. It’s not that good, but it’s pretty standard “renegade law officer” fare, and there are enough ridiculous parts to be enjoyable.

_First off, the opening credits roll over the background of a wolf roaming the desert…a LONE wolf! J.J. McQuade is then shown scoping out a bunch of horses some Mexicans are stealing. McQuade watches as the normal Texas police try to bust up the horse rustling outfit, only to fail and get captured. McQuade then shoots one of the robbers, prompting the ringleader to shoot and kill one of the police officers. Being demanded to come down to have the rest of the cops be killed, McQuade comes down…and just beats everybody up and uzis them down. I mention all of this because in the scene where McQuade is getting chewed out by the chief, not once is the fact that he let a cop get killed while he stood idly by waiting to do something. only shit like “Rangers have to have style! Have a family and go to church! Clean up your act McQuade!” It’s more important for rangers to go to church than make sure other rangers don’t get needlessly murdered.


The eyes of the ranger are upon you.

I feel obligated to mention the part where McQuade gets buried in the dirt in his truck. David Carradine beats him up, tosses him in his truck, pushes the truck into a hole and has a bulldozer bury it…ok. He comes to…and cracks open a beer. Brilliant! Chakotay comes to save him, shoots some cronies and then bears witness…to the truck powering it’s way out of the ground. Yup. Just…driving up through the dirt. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

_Of special mention goes to Norris’ and Carradine’s outfits during the final fight sequence. GG costume designer. High approval.

_Also, while it might not be as picturesque, I feel that the backhand fist and variations of it are more of a staple Chuck Norris move than the roundhouse. The roundhouse is more his Van Damme split legged kick. He doesn’t do it in every fight scene, but only to win the final one. But Chuck loooovvvvves backhanding people.

_There’s really a WHOLE LOT more I could talk about, but I really can’t do anything justice in words. Let me just say that this is highly recommended.

_Tune in tomorrow as we go for a stroll down Mullholland Dr. See you then~

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