Netflix January 2015_day.01 – Blue Valentine (2010)

_Back in 2013, I celebrated the month of February by watching a movie available via Netflix’s instant streaming services everyday and writing about whatever I felt like writing about them. There was no real reason to do it during February. It was just an arbitrary decision I made. I wanted to do it again last February, but I found myself very busy and depressed and lacking the energy to anything but mope through my continued existence and hope that every night I went to sleep that I wouldn’t wake up. How much of that am I currently feeling today? That’s a secret. Not for you to know.

Anyways, I wanted to bring it back. But I also didn’t want to wait another month to do it. So, similar to the arbitrary decision I made in 2013 to do it in February, I’m arbitrarily making this month Netflix January. Don’t worry Black History Month…I won’t be stealing your thunder this year. It’s all yours. Let’s get things started with Blue Valentine.

_I’m pretty sure this movie won a bunch of Cannes awards or something. Or at least bummed around film festivals and got a bunch of standing ovations or some shit. You know how it is: I’m Average Joe Everyman, I only casually follow movie news, hear random film buzz around the internet. You go onto Yahoo or something to check fantasy sports teams, but on the front page on your way there, there’s something about indie film festivals on the front page and it’s like “European love story about mentally disabled gay extra terrestrials hitchhiking through the Antarctic made on a budget of a dollar and 25 cents receives Cannes highest award,” and you roll your eyes, feigning surprise, but you click anyways to find out the name of the movie. That’s all it takes. You click on enough of those, and some of those titles will stay with you. Maybe not in your active consciousness, but somewhere in the back of your head. Then it shows up on the “Recently added” on Netflix instant streaming, and you go “…I know this fucking movie.” Pretty sure Blue Valentine was one of those. Or maybe it was just critically acclaimed. It’s one of the two.

_So my sister hates Michelle Williams. Well…not “hates.” More like…Michelle Williams’ face irritates her. Hearing her recount the story of the first time she shows up on Dawson’s Creek is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard and seen. I feel like I should get a recording of her face as she talks about it sometime. It’s great. But yeah, Michelle Williams as a “beautiful Hollywood starlet” irrationally bothers her a lot. It’s pretty hilarious.

_So with all that said, I had a hard time really focusing on this movie. The majority of the movie is just…uncomfortably close up shots of people’s faces. So I imagine her watching this movie and just being exasperated every 30 seconds while thinking to herself “UGH, GOD, how many times am I gonna see Michelle Williams face take up MY ENTIRE SCREEN?!” and giggling to myself during these dramatic and serious scenes where she’s getting pissed at Ryan Gosling. I’m basically watching this movie like “LOL…their marriage is in total shambles.” That’s not funny, self. That’s sad.

So good work, Audrey. You’ve effectively ruined all Michelle Williams movies for me. I look forward to watching that Marilyn Monroe movie some day and laughing to myself when she falls over dead.

_Oh, and regarding if this was an indie festival movie or a critically acclaimed movie…it was definitely both. Cause it was blunt and depressing.W ait, is there a difference between “Film festival movie” and “Critics darling”?

_Join me tomorrow as I watch another critical darling, the Steve Buscemi vehicle Airheads. It will likely be a short entry, because what could I possibly add to the countless deep interpretations of the movie every film student has ever had about it?

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