Netflix January 2015_day.05 – The Aristocats (1970)

_Ooh la la! Pas de Cats!

I wish I still had that comforter. I wish I still had a lot of stuff from my childhood.

_Welcome. Today, we’ll be watching The Aristocats. This is one of those movies that has to have been pitched solely on the adorable pun. “They’re cat aristocrats…ARISTO-CATS!” Told the guys in animation to draw up some cute cats rolling around, got the green light.

_Wow, this lady actually named her horse Frou-Frou. Well…they’re in France, I guess. Maybe they don’t know that you’re supposed to name your horses phrases or nouns with adjectives. Like “Early Bird” or “A Trip to the Market” or “4 Hour Delay.”

_”I want my cats to inherit my vast fortune and estate. Then after they pass, it will all pass to my faithful servant Edgar!” Seriously, lady, if he’s so faithful, you don’t think he’d take care of your cats in the case of your passing? I mean, sure, his unfaithfulness is what leads to the plot, but really. You’d get skewered for that kind of ridiculous bullshit in the internet age, that comes out. “If I die, not giving my money to charity or anything. CATS, BRO!”

_There’s a mouse voiced by Pooh bear and he’s totally leeching off the cats milk like it was hunny and they were rabbits, yay~

Now there’s a dog Sheriff of Nottingham.

And all the snooty cats were all Disney standbys I recognized too.

And here strolls jazzy Baloo cat!

I like that nobody sounds French. Like I’m supposed to believe that anybody sounding like the Baloo guy is an alley cat from the streets of France. That’d be having a ridiculously British bald man try to pass off as French in space.

_Are you shitting me? A catnapping made the front page of Le Journal de Paris? Actually, didn’t just make the front page, it’s DOMINATING the front! Even the sidebars are related! Is it that slow of a news day?

_”What a horrible, horrible human for chasing us off after we stowed away in the back of his truck and spilled all of the cream he was delivering for his job!” Snooty Von Snoot Cat, indeed!

_I’ve always found it really strange how in Disney movies, all animals understand each other. Humans can’t understand animals, but every other animal species understands every other species. As if every other sound every animal makes is universal. Like…dogs understand the cat language of meowing perfectly, and dogs get meowing. And these cats and geese can communicate. How do these cats understand the geese’s…goose call language? Plus, they’re British geese, and the cats are French, so they’re probably meowing in French. They can understand DOUBLE language?!

_Nothing like some silly, over the top drunkards in kid’s movies lol.

_So they’re singing Everybody Wants to Be a Cat, and besides the awesome asian stereotype siamese cat plays the piano with chopsticks and goes “Ching chong ching,” the part that stands out most is when Dutchess has a little harp section, which begs the question…why do a bunch of jazz playing cats have a harp anyways? I’ve never once associated “harp” with “jazz instrument.” Maybe they’re some kind of crazy prog-jazz outfit that does weird stuff like that.

_lol that’s your just desserts, evil butler! A missing persons case that may stump the French department for years! That’s what you get for becoming more comically evil and inept as the movie progresses!

_Stop by tomorrow, we’re watching World War Z. See you then.


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