Netflix January 2015_day.06 – World War Z (2013)

_My skin likes to dry up when the seasons change. It’s always been a thing with me, but it’s been getting more extreme as I’ve gotten older. The skin between nostrils and face got so dry this winter, it started cracking and bleeding. I’m on top of it with some lotion now, but it’s those kinds of bodily infirmities that make me think…shit. There’s just some stuff you can’t help, huh? Or maybe I can, I just don’t know how and am completely ignorant of the method of avoidance.

_Up today, World War Z has begun! …two years ago! How did this zombie outbreak happen all over the world and I didn’t know? This might be a sign that I should get out more. Oh, it’s fiction, that makes sense.

That makes me think…have there been any zombie outbreak movies with lots of social media in it? Like, imagine seeing tweets before shit got serious. “@420Thugz I just saw some guy bite your ass in the street LOL who let’s that happen?!” And I also love how they report this as a rabies outbreak at first. Seriously, if anything remotely zombie-esque happened, wouldn’t everybody be going out of their way to call it a zombie outbreak before anything else? Seriously. All these zombie movies where nobody in the movie ever calls the non-living-no-longer-human people zombies needs to stop. We all know what you’re going for.

_That just shows how braindead zombies are: Surrounded by defenseless people running on foot…goes to attack people in cars. Headbutt windows to death. Now, so far, I don’t know if this is “shoot zombies in head, only thing effective” yet, but if it is, “Break shit with the only body part vulnerable to attacks” seems like a really poor survival instinct.

_I love the typical “society falling apart” tropes. “OMG zombies. City on fire…BUILDING SIZE EXPLOSIONS!” Like…what are zombies doing to cause that big of explosions? Riots, I can understand. People are TRYING to cause as much destruction as possible. But zombies? They don’t even know how to use tools, much less blow anything up. They’re not running around with molotovs or anything. Not that there wouldn’t be any explosions in a zombie apocalypse, but it happens on a really consistent basis during city pans in these kinds of movies.

Another question about the apocalypse: What happens to the lights to make them all start flickering? I can understand them all going dark, but flickering? Are people attacking the lights just enough to jiggle them loose to the point of a bad connection?

_”99% of the world’s population has turned…but it’s not them you gotta worry about…it’s us.” Nobody said that, I just made it up, and this seems like they will be fighting zombies most of the time, but that shit has to show up at some point in every zombie movie.

_Brad pitt just went all Chuck Greene. Duct tape knife to rifle to create Boomstick! Duck tape magazine to arm to create Bite Armor! Duck tape two daughters to create Super Child!

…nah, just the first two.

_See…see, this is why we need to fix the Middle East. You don’t have USA democracy in place, next thing you know? Zombies. Thanks a lot Middle East!

_Well…Brad Pitt has become a harbinger of destruction and mayhem in this movie. “Israel is the only place that has protected itself.” Brad Pitt shows up, mountain of zombies make it over the wall within 10 minutes.

He just boarded a passenger aircraft. I don’t like this plane’s chances. We’ll see in the next 10 minutes, I guess.

God dammit, Brad, you doomed this fucking flight!

_Stealth section failed. Revert to checkpoint, Brad. It’s easier than brute forcing it. You’ll probably get an achievement for doing it that way, too.

_Sometimes I wish movies were a little more ridiculous. Like, this part, Brad Pitt goes to this lab to infect himself with a terminal illness because he thinks zombies ignore non-healthy people. So he injects it into himself. But how hilarious would it have been if he just opened up these vials and poured the liquid sick all over his head? Just did a dramatic slow motion violins and Latin chanting terminal illness shower? That would’ve been the best.

_Tomorrow, I head back into some James Bond because Netflix likes to interrupt my Bond viewing fests by randomly removing and re-adding them from the streaming service. But you have to watch it alone. It’s FOR YOUR EYES ONLY!


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