Netflix January 2015_day.24 – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)

_Obviously, I fell behind. I tried hard to keep up with movies, I really did. But it was tough watching movies in a room with 6 people in it. You try watching movies, and it’s just a tough environment to do it in. So…I fell behind. It’s sad, but true. But now I’m home, and it’s time…to play catch up. But I’ll do my best to not make it a bombardment. Slowly doled out…over…like…2 days. Obviously. Tons of movies in 2 days is obviously slowly doled.

_Up now, we have the James Bond-esque Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.


_I kid. It’s not like James Bond at all. Bond doesn’t do shit for investigative spy work. Gary Oldman would make an awesome M, though. Maybe when Judi Dench retires, he can step into the role with that plastic head thing he wore in Fifth Element. You know. SPY GEAR.

_The first time I watched…no, no that’s not the right word. The first time I attempted to follow this movie was when it was in theaters. I had been up for about 40 hours, I walked out of my room, and my dad said “See you later, son, I’m off to the movies!” “Oh really, can I come too?” I inquired. So 20 minutes later, I was in a dark theater with my dad and my brother, watching an extremely slow burn spy drama, with a lot of subtle plot to follow, and countless scenes of Gary Oldman sitting in silent contemplation. Needless to say, I fell asleep a few times, and felt bad as I snored in my brother’s ear. Sorry about that, Jimmy. I was really tired and didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I still feel like I had more of an excuse for falling asleep than the other old men in the theater that day, though. I know those fogies hadn’t been awake for nearly two days.

_Tinker Tailor is a really unflinchingly British movie. It’s not just that they exclusively used British actors for all the British agents. I mean, duh. Obviously. But…there’s just…something about the movie. It’s like the makeup artists did them up to make them look even more extremely British. “Hey, we know Colin Firth looks like a extremely British man, but could you do him up to look 40% more British?” “Hey, we’ve already established that everybody in this is extremely British…but could we have that guy butter some toast and drink tea while scolding the people under him?” “Make sure that this meeting with all of the higher ups in MI-5 has a large pot of tea in the center of the table.”

_I’d love to see the script for this movie sometime. Do a Ctrl+F for *silently contemplates*. There’s a whole lot of it going on.

_Tinker Tailor is the kind of movie that assumes you’re smart. It doesn’t give a shit for explaining itself to you if you’re too dumb to get it. By the way, I’m not really smart enough to follow it. Knowing it’s based off of a book just makes me think that maybe this would’ve been better served as a minise…oh so it already was made into a miniseries by BBC in the 80’s? That might help with following everything, because everything in this adaptation is really tightly packed. You basically can’t miss or forget if you want any hopes of following it. I’m still not really sure what Operation Witchcraft is or how many double agents were actually doubling.

_It’s a really wonderfully shot movie. The overuse of shaky cam in movies these days really makes you appreciate a movie with silky smooth slow pan shots. Granted, there’s like…no action in this movie to warrant anybody ever going “This needs shaky cam” but still. It’s nice.


_Come by next time, as we’ll be diving into Invasion of the Bee Girls. See you later~

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