Netflix January 2015_day.25 – Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)

_I’ve gone to a few conventions in my time. Every time I come back, I always think the same thing: “Maybe I should’ve gone to more panels and stuff.” But even when I don’t go any of the special events and panels and shit at cons, I still have a fun time. So…I’m probably doing it right, somehow.

Slowly but surely, we march ahead. Invasion of the Bee Girls.

_So the basic gist of this movie is that there are a bunch of space bees posing as human women or something, and they’re trying to take over the planet by killing all of the men through sexual exhaustion. It sounds a lot like Species, except it’s a 70’s faux soft porn B movie, so there’s probably nobody as attractive as Natasha Henstridge getting naked, showing her boobs and simulating sex every 15 minutes.

From that description, we’re probably in for a rough ride with this one. At least this dramatic musical number is great. LOO-LOO-LOO-LOO-LOO-LOO-LOO!

_Watching movies from the 70’s and 80’s nobody truly gives a rat’s ass about is really crazy. The picture is really rough and blurry because the audience for this kind of movie doesn’t care about the picture being cleaned up. The publisher doesn’t give a shit about cleaning up the picture either, they’re just releasing it for minimal cost to try to make a quick buck of profit from a random movie they still own the rights for. You compare the picture and sound in this to something like Serpico, released in the same year…Serpico still looks like it’s from the 70’s, but it’s clearly been restored and doesn’t look and sound like wet shit.

_Early on, everybody is talking about the dead men dying of heart failure during sex. And none of the other men in the movie say anything like “Hell of a way to go.” They just sit around going “Could’ve gone out worse!” And laugh about it over drinks. It’s like in Futurama. DEATH! D= BY SNU-SNU! =D

As a fellow man…I will abstain on delving deep into my feelings towards that particular method of death…you could go out worse, though! LOL *drinks a martini*

_”Until we determine the exact cause of these deaths, I recommend total sexual abstinence.” “Nothing ain’t gonna stop me from screwing my old lady! Or anybody else, for that matter!” *applause*

Those guys just applauded him for basically loudly proclaiming in public how he’ll cheat on his wife if he damn well pleases. The 70’s! Great time to be an asshole man!

_Maybe I’m not paying enough attention, but the detective working this case seemed to make the connection between the human sex deaths being insect related shockingly fast. Like, before he ever saw a huge collection of bees in the sex institute, he was looking into it.

_Total topless scenes: 8

_Well. That was a B movie, all right. Right down to the ridiculously anti-climatic ending!

_Coming up next, we travel to a post-apocalyptic wasteland, also known as the normal Australian Outback. Mad Max. See you then~


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