Netflix January 2015_day.27 – The Quick and the Dead (1995)

_Eating out is one of my favorite things to do when traveling. There’s something about being away from home, away from the norm, that makes me more adventurous than I am here in Vegas. Here, I know we have all kinds of different restaurants to go to and try…but I get set in my ways. But when I’m out of town, everything feels a bit unfamiliar. If it all feels unfamiliar anyways, why not just try whatever place is around? Never heard of this place? Who cares! I don’t know shit about this city! If I ever travel to another continent, I could probably walk into a place that serves deep fried human and just go “Fuck it, I don’t know where else I’m gonna go in this strange and unfamiliar land!” Even when you go into a fancy place that’s basically just a TGIF style family restaurant with a different name, it always feels adventurous when you’re out of town.

Now, join us, as we become The Quick and the Dead. Wait, that makes no sense. Unless we’re dying and being reanimated as running zombies. I like this movie better than zombies, though.

_One thing I always think of when I watch westerns is how in western movies, everybody looks like a total bad ass all dressed up like cowboys. But when people wear that stuff now, they just look goofy as hell. Sorry Texas.

_There’s a lot to love about this movie. Like the 50 times Sam Raimi does quick edit extreme close ups on faces and places.

How Sharon Stone rolls into town and is portrayed as a competent gunslinger, but not some kind of female Mary Sue. She’s just a woman set on revenge.

How Russell Crowe is a former outlaw turned preacher, but the entire town hates him. “BOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOO MAN OF PEACE BOOOOOOOO!” And then they spit on him and throw rocks at him. That’ll teach you to renounce violence!

Or a 12 year old Leo DiCaprio shooting people. OK, not 12. But he’s still a little dough faced boy in this. Is that a term? Dough faced? Whatever, it should be, cause I used it.

_OK, so Sharon Stone rolls into town for ??? reasons. Turns out, there’s a quick draw tournament coming up, which Bishop from Aliens joins, looking ridiculous. Baby Leo signs up too, as does a fantastically mustached Keith David. Then Evil Gene Hackman shows up, signs up, forces Peaceful Crowe into the tournament, and Lady Stone also joins. From there, we have tons of ridiculous over the top quick draw thrills and zoom ins and flashbacks of Evil Gene Hackman forcing little girl Stone to try and save her Gary Sinese dad by shooting the rope from off his neck. Spoilers: It doesn’t go well.

_You wouldn’t think Sam Raimi could put his style on a western. But those over the top edits, Keith David’s face getting a hole blown through it with a old west revolver, and Sharon Stone shooting Gene Hackman so hard, he gets thrown off his feet and backflips. The movie ends within one minute of that, too. I actually really love the “We beat the bad guy, time to quickly cut to the end credits within a couple seconds!” ending in movies.

_Stop by next time as we watch steel workers dance in strip bars and pour water all over themselves. Flashdance. See you~


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