Netflix February 2016_day.08 – Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

_Sometimes, you just don’t want to get out of bed. Other times, you just can’t. You try to pull yourself out, and your body just says “Fuck off, man.” Sometimes, life seems like it’s just a constant struggle against that exact feeling.

“Brake. Reverse. Slam on the gas. A sly ex-con attempts to steal a boatload of hot cars. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.”

We’ll be Gone in 60 Seconds.

_I loved the part where Master P showed up. Because it was Master P. I marked out. Meaning, I was watching the movie by myself, Master P appeared on screen, and I said “Uhh!” and drove a tank onto a basketball court.

_Well…that was disappointing. The worst part? The part of the script that makes sense it what causes the movie to not be as exciting. “Let’s do stuff to keep the cops off our trail as long as possible.” Yeah, it’s smart…but god dammit, the more you’re not in a car chase, the less I care.

Unless you’re a young Angelina Jolie. In which case, you can just be on screen not in a car chase for as long as you want. Just existing. I’m totally cool with that. I care.

Which is good, because she didn’t do much in this. She was basically there to be eye candy.

Robert Duvall also reprises his role from Days of Thunder, this time coaching Nic Cage on stealing cars instead of Tom Cruise in driving them. But with less hat throwing.

_Seriously, though…the whole movie is like a big tease for car chases, but then you only get like…5 minutes of chase. Which seemed disappointing even before I found out that the original Gone in 60 Seconds movie had a 40 minute chase scene. 40 minutes! And then when the chase scene comes up…it’s not even as good as the one from Nightcrawler a couple days ago! Your whole movie is about stealing a bunch of nice cars, and then you got upstaged by a creepy Jake Gyllenhaal. Come on…come on.

The rest of the movie up to that point seems like a kind of car porn for the filmmakers. Make a list of a bunch of nice cars, get them all for the movie, joyride around for a while, write it all off as a business expense.

…na-na, na-na!

_The Nic Cage block continues tomorrow. Lord of War. See you then~


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