Netflix February 2016_day.22 – Barbarella (2000)

_Sometimes, these intros are the first thing I write on these posts. Other times, it’s the last thing I do. Today…it’s last. It depends on how my day went. Sometimes, I basically sit around and do nothing all day. Those days…there’s not much on my mind. Well…there is, but it’s not much of a time stamp of what was going on. But it’ll do for today.


“It’s science fiction, but it’s sexy. And somewhere in there is a mission of intergalactic importance.”

She is Barbarella.

_Barbarella lets you know right off the bat what kind of movie it is during the opening credits. You see a figure in a bulky space suit, floating around inside a fuzzy room in a spaceship. Violins gently trill, lightly accented with…bells? Xylophone? Something kind of ting-y percussion. The figure begins to remove the bulky suit…revealing a slender female hand! A drum beat starts, and the song goes into the full lounge melody. Lyrics start, and we’re treated to Jane Fonda slowly undressing in zero-g for the next 4 minutes while the credits roll.

_As vague as that Netflix description is…it’s basically the perfect way to describe this movie. Without swearing, anyways. My 20 words or less description – “While searching for a missing scientist, Barbarella fucks her way out of any problems that comes before her.”

Seriously.

There’s a scene where she basically fucks herself out of a torture device. Literally. Guy puts her in a torture device that will basically masturbate her until she’ll die of pleasure, but she manages to work the machine so hard, it basically overloads and breaks down. So yeah…fucks herself safe.

_It’s always hard with fiction to know where an idea originates. You can go “Oh, hey, this old movie had this.” Then you find out later “Oh, they got that idea from this older thing,” but it turns out THAT was paying homage to something even older, so on and so forth. So ground zero for ideas and concepts can be tough to pin down.

But until I discover otherwise, I’m going to say Barbarella was the origin of Demolition Man style sexless sex with the “Touch hands, cum yourself” scene. I doubt that’s the actual name of the scene, but that’s what I’m going to call it.

_I will say this: Considering that the movie leans so heavily on Jane Fonda’s sex appeal, they at least appeal to it well. There’s a nude scene before any line of dialog is spoken, and she dresses up in a new, revealing outfit every 10 minutes.


Feel free to join me tomorrow when we drop in on an old friend for what is sure to be some madcap high jinks. The Perfect Host. See you then~

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