Netflix February 2016_day.25 – Witness (1985)

_I don’t like being mean to people. But unfortunately, sometimes it’s the only way to get through to people. Civility is awesome when it works, but…sometimes, it just doesn’t cut the mustard. But I rarely have it in me to be outright mean to other people.

So…I just play video games and complain out loud to myself about how dumb people in games are, both in game characters, the creators, and the people that play them.

It’s my chosen outlet for those feelings. Except nobody hears them and the world continues unchanged.

“After a young boy sees an unspeakable crime, a big-city cop must risk his own life … and leave his world behind.”

Time to Witness. Something.

_So the bare bones pitch for this movie is super bland. “Young kid witnesses a murder, cop has to protect him. Corrupt cops.” Yeah yeah yeah, whatever, where’s the hook? I got your hook.

The kid is Amish.

Harrison Ford goes out to Amish country to protect everybody.

Harrison Ford milks a cow and raises a barn.

Count me in.

_So, I don’t know that much about the Amish. From what I can gather, they have giant communities in constant need of new barns. Cause all they do is raise barns. Every day. 365 barns a year. And if everybody already has a barn, they tear one down to raise a new one. Every day.

_I enjoyed the movie, but it was kind of strange. Half of it was a police thriller, the other half fish out of water love story. Harrison Ford and Amish Lady make a cute couple.

And then the corrupt policemen menacingly descend on the Amish town with shotguns.


God damn, man, it’s just the Amish! Leave ’em alone, Danny Glover!

_I only saw Air Force One once, but every time I see Harrison Ford get up in somebody’s face in a movie now, I always see him going “Get off my plane!” in my head. Only since this one takes place in Amish country, I suppose he should go “Get out of my barn!” and then shun them out of town.

_Stop by tomorrow cause we’re watching something British. Hot Fuzz. See you then~


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