Netflix February 2017_day.14 – Crippled Avengers (1978)

_We’re only halfway through the month, but I’m already thinking that next year I probably won’t do these off-topic intro paragraphs for Netflix February. While it is a way for me to blurb off things on my mind, I actually find it a bit exhausting. I find myself having to remember what I have and haven’t talked about lately, and I feel like I hit a lot of the same beats. I also try to keep it light, but a lot of the time, my own natural disposition starts to creep in and these are all doom and gloom, then I delete it all, and labor to write something less dreary to start. It’s taxing to essentially write what you’ve been thinking about every day for a month straight, and find so little of it to be pleasant.

Everybody is kung fu fighting when a martial arts master takes revenge and then some in this Shaw Brothers classic.

Don’t call them disabled.They’re Crippled Avengers.

_Dammit Netflix, Mandarin audio only? Where’s my awful English dub you bastards!

…don’t worry though. Wooden acting is truly a universal language.

_Golden Harvest is dope. They make awesome movies.

Crippled Avengers, however, is not a Golden Harvest movie. It’s a Shaw Brothers film. Which means it’s not awesome…it’s “awesome.”

_The plot: At the start of the movie, the Tian Nan Tigers arrive at the home of Tu Tin-To, master of the Tiger Style of martial arts to teach him a lesson of some sort. He’s not at home, so the Tigers decide for his arrogance to cut off his wife’s legs and his son’s arms, with the wife dying from her injuries.

You’d think “Man, that’s fucked up, the story must be about the son training and avenging his mother’s murder.” Nope. Tu Tin-To walks in a second after this happens, is all >=| and murders those guys. He then tells his son that he’ll get a blacksmith to make him iron arms and he’ll train him in martial arts. Fast forward to old man Tin-To and his grown up son, who has become a formidable user of the Tiger Style. The incident makes Tin-To cruel and sadistic, traits he instills into his son. Tin-To pretty much runs the town, and cripples those who would not stand for his bullshit.

A traveling merchant is blinded, a blacksmith is rendered dead and mute, and a random guy on the street has his feet cut off. For saying they don’t like the way that strut around like they own the place and accidentally bumping into them on the street. A wandering martial artist passing through hears about their actions and vows to avenge them. Despite a valiant effort, he is overcome by the son and flunkies, and is then given brain damage. The four cripples go to the martial artist’s master and begin training to avenge what was done to them.

Like I said: “awesome.”

_Despite the premise being ludicrous, they make lots of clever uses of it in a lot of fight scenes. The blind man uses sharp hearing to fight. The deaf fighter carries a mirror and uses reflective wristbands to see people trying to flank him that he can’t hear. The bad guys try to use tools like banging on shields and drums, lots of dangling mirrors to try and disorient them. The fight choreography is a typically good Shaw Brothers affair, but these little aspects give it uniqueness that helps differentiate it from other movies of its ilk.

Overall, I really liked it! Watch Crippled Avengers!

_Tomorrow, prepare for a little war. And peace. Sky High. See you then~

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