Netflix February 2017_day.17 – Haunter (2013)

_As I get older, I find myself with more weird bodily infirmities than I had in years past. Sure, there’s the stuff you expect, like “I feel more fatigued as the day goes on!” and “I can’t function on multiple days worth of only 2 hours of sleep the way I used to!” but…it’s other smaller things. I’ve noticed my skin is drier than it used to be. I have this patch of skin on the right side of my face that gets really dry and flaky when I shave. My scalp has gotten dry to the point where I won’t even go into details on it. I get these big, dry patches on my feet sometimes that I have to go in on super hard to get clean. These are things that weren’t issues when I was young. Now they are.

I wish this was FF5, and Old was just a status that one could be cured of.

Their house hides gruesome secrets. Now two girls must cross the line between life and death to save themselves.

Who’s that Pokemon? It’s Haunter.

_Early on, we find out what the premise of the movie is: it’s the plot of the movie Groundhog Day, only spoOoOoOoky! And instead of Bill Murray, it’s a teEeEeEenager! And instead of being stuck in a small town, she’s stuck in a hoOoOoOouse! And the the day is repeating because the house is haAaAaAaunted!

_I’m not big into the horror genre. But you watch a few, and you start to figure out why horror movies will always be a thing. You can do so much with so little. Jump scares don’t cost shit. Creeky floorboards don’t cost shit. Fill up lots of run time with slow pans of a spooky door. Don’t always need good lighting since so much is done in the dark. Go film in random woods. You don’t need to CG spooky stuff when you can just have normal people say things all spooky like.

_I don’t really have any insight as to why I wasn’t into this movie, other than me not being that into horror movies. But I can accurately describe how I knew I wasn’t really digging it: Partway through the movie, I was like “Good lord, why would they make this movie this long?” Then I checked and it had only been an hour. It felt like I was 2 hours into a 90 minute movie.

_Stop by tomorrow, because we’ll be watching the definitive performance of a historic figure of folklore. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. See you then~

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