_This seems like as good a time as any to say that I love Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. I’m not someone who goes out to watch movies based solely on an actor being in it, but I’d be a liar if I said that them being in a movie didn’t make me more interested in a film. It was just coincidence that they were a huge Hollywood power couple too, I never followed any of their personal lives.
But I’d also be a liar if I said that seeing their split in things like US Weekly when I went grocery shopping wasn’t like being in the middle of two friends having a falling out. I’d see mudslinging mud and just in my head go “Nooooooo stop I love you both don’t do thiiiiiiiis!”
It doesn’t affect my personal life, but yeah. It’s as close as my world could possibly come to crumbling due to celebrity gossip. Which is turns out is not much. The amount of life crumbling was like a crack beginning to form on the sidewalk. Maybe in 50 years, that crack will have turned into a full blown divot, grass growing out of it, so uneven as to render it untraversable by wheelchairs and bikes, and I’ll be on my deathbed, and if any one is there in my final moments, I’ll whisper in their ear “I wish Brangelina never split up”.
“A grief-stricken mother’s son is missing — even when the cops bring him home. It’s their word against hers.”
Look out Alpha Quadrant, it’s Changeling.